Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

The Check In | Life Through the Lens of Scripture

Samone Johnson - Founder, Rapha Restored

I'm in a season of being over it... Like all of it... Have you ever been so tired of life happening that you just want to look toward heaven and ask God, "Seriously? Again?" Lately, that's been me... and maybe a lot of you too.

Don't get me wrong. I love my life, my family, Yahweh, and serving Him. I'm grateful for the blessings He's given me, but if I can be mad transparent, I'm tired... Not the kind of tired that a good night's sleep can fix. I mean the kind of exhaustion that comes from constantly trying to keep everything together while wondering when you'll finally get a chance to breathe. Constantly putting up with other people's antics, knowing they won't change. Then being fed up with a bank account that has more output than input. Sometimes I feel like I'm gasping for air, and I need to take a deep breath... You know, that deep breath where your shoulders relax, your mind is quiet, and you're not anticipating the next unexpected problem. Yeah, that kind of breathing... I haven't been able to inhale like that yet. Lately, I've been feeling a little like Solomon in Ecclesiastes.

"Vanity of vanities! All is vanity!" (Ecclesiastes 1:2, NASB 2020)

I am telling you, sometimes it feels like I'm living the same episode of a television show, and nobody bothered to write a new script. I'm living in a constant loop of that Bill Murray movie, Groundhog Day. I wake up in the morning and just lie in bed for a minute with that blank stare like, here we go again... Same stuff. Different day.

My Life Feels Like an Endless Cycle

Several areas of my life are where I've been praying, waiting, working, and trying my best to stay patient. For one, there's my job. I'm grateful to be employed, but I'm also longing for a different season. I love what I do, and I love working at a Christian university every day and having weekly Bible Studies during work hours with the team. Yet our family budget could use a few more drops in the bucket from my side, and the schedule can be challenging at times. I'm praying for a season where I have more freedom to pursue the things God has placed on my heart. I'm praying for doors to open, doing what I can to prepare for that new season, and trusting God with the timing. Yet, the waiting can be exhausting.

Then there's marriage. My husband and I love each other, but that doesn't mean we always communicate perfectly. Sometimes we misunderstand each other. Sometimes conversations are harder than they need to be, and sometimes I wish we could skip the difficult parts and get straight to understanding each other. I have to remember that all relationships require work, patience, humility, and a willingness to keep showing up. Showing up the right way can be a challenge, too... Your girl can be stubborn at times (only when provoked; don't judge me. I'm a work in progress. LOL!)

And then there are the FINANCES... Oh, the finances! Have you ever worked diligently to pay down debt, started seeing a little progress, and then BAM! An unexpected expense shows up like it was invited? It seemed back-to-back in my mind, but it wasn't; within months, we had to replace the house HVAC, then the electrical panel. The property tax went up in our county and then we were littered with several car accidents and car repairs to get dropped on our paid down credit. I'm sitting there looking at my credit cards, checking account, and savings account like... Who invited you? Because it certainly wasn't me!

Suddenly, the progress we were celebrating, paying off a credit card and building up our savings, felt like it slipped through our fingers. There we were again, recalculating, readjusting, and reminding ourselves that we're still making progress, even if it doesn't feel like it. It's exhausting... and I'm over it. Not because I expect life to be perfect, but because I sometimes wonder when we'll get to a season where everything doesn't feel so difficult. A season where we can simply enjoy life without constantly preparing for the next challenge.

My Little Ecclesiastes Moment

As I've been reflecting on these feelings, I've found myself returning to Ecclesiastes. And let me tell you... The Teacher understood the frustration of life's repetitive nature. He understood the assignment well! In Ecclesiastes 1, he observes the endless cycles of the world. Generations come and go. The sun rises and sets. The wind blows in its circuits. Streams continue flowing toward the sea. Everything keeps moving, yet so much seems unchanged on a daily basis for us. The Hebrew word translated as "vanity" or "futility" is hevel, which literally refers to a vapor or breath. That word captures something about life that I think we all experience: its fleeting nature, its unpredictability, and how difficult it can be to make sense of everything happening around us.

Sometimes we work hard, see results, and feel like it was all for NOTHING! Other times we work just as hard and encounter setbacks, and we're back at square one. Sometimes we pray and get answers quickly; other times we pray for years and keep waiting. That's the one that kills me the most. Waiting and waiting and waiting... Then sometimes, despite our best efforts, life simply doesn't unfold the way we hoped.

Here's what I appreciate about Ecclesiastes. The Teacher doesn't pretend these frustrations aren't real. He acknowledges them, yet throughout the book he reminds us that we can find goodness amid life's uncertainties. Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 teaches that rejoicing, doing good, and enjoying the fruit of our labor are gifts from God. That challenged me, because I've realized something about myself.

I've been sooo focused on waiting for life to get better that sometimes I overlook the good things God has already placed in front of me. I have been doing more complaining disguised as daily prayer. I complained while I waited for financial freedom, for things to change at the university, and for more personal issues to resolve themselves. I've been over here waiting for the day when I can finally say, "Whew! We made it!" But... what about today?

What about the laughter around the dinner table with the kids that brings me joy? The conversations with my children can change the atmosphere for me. What about the moments when my husband and I genuinely enjoy each other's company? We laughed at an inside joke, read the Bible and dove deep, or got caught up in our shows. What about the small victories that deserve celebrating, even when everything else isn't going according to plan? Those moments matter, too, and I don't want to become so consumed with waiting for a better season that I forget to appreciate the life I'm living right now.

I'm Trying To Find Hope When I'm Exhausted

Here's something I'm learning. Being tired doesn't mean I've stopped trusting God with my life and the lives of the ones I love. Being frustrated doesn't mean I've lost my faith, and asking God how much longer doesn't automatically mean I'm being ungrateful. Honey, I'm human! The Bible is full of people like us who experienced sorrow, disappointment, uncertainty, and exhaustion.

David repeatedly cried out to God, asking how long his suffering would continue (Psalm 13). Jesus Himself acknowledged that His followers would experience trouble in this world. In John 16:33, Jesus tells His disciples to take courage because He has overcome the world. Notice that He doesn't promise a life without difficulties. Tribulation is going to tribulate!

It's such a blessing, though, that Jesus offers something greater: peace and confidence grounded in Him. That's where I'm trying to keep my perspective from day to day. My hope cannot depend on my finances improving, my career changing, or every difficult circumstance resolving itself because I said so. Those things matter, as I pray about them, and I'm actively working toward change. Yet they cannot become the foundation of my peace. That's real to me because circumstances are always changing. Christ doesn't change... we do... our circumstances do..., and while I don't know when this particular season of my life will change, I know that the Lord remains faithful to His Word.

I'm learning to hold two truths together: I can acknowledge that life is difficult while remaining grateful for what is going well for me. I can desire change while appreciating what I have, and I can be completely exhausted without surrendering my hope in Christ to my tribulations.

Before You Go...

If you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, I understand you... I got you... God's got you... Maybe you're working hard and wondering why things aren't getting easier. I don't know why either, LOL! Maybe you're navigating relationship difficulties, trying to get your finances together, or simply longing for a season where you don't feel like you're constantly playing catch-up. Just let me say... me too... me too... I don't have a magical solution for you, and if I did, I'd sell the blueprint for the very low, low price of $19.99, lol! Honestly, I'm still figuring some things out myself.

I want to encourage you not to overlook the good in your life just because you're waiting for something better. Celebrate the small victories. Enjoy the ordinary moments. Give yourself permission to acknowledge when you're tired, and remember that your circumstances, no matter how frustrating or uncertain, do not determine God's faithfulness. Life can be exhausting without being meaningless, and because our hope is in Jesus Christ, even the difficult seasons do not have the final word. So, if you're still waiting for your season to change, you're in good company. Pull up a chair and cop a squat. We're figuring things out over here, too.

The Check In Takeaway: You don't have to wait until everything in your life is perfect to experience the goodness of God. Even in seasons of uncertainty, you can still have gratitude, joy, and hope.

Scripture to Reflect On: Ecclesiastes 3:12–13; Psalm 13:1–6; John 16:33

Until the next check in, you have my love and prayers.

Samone

Founder, Rapha Restored